Spark Joy

I used most of my spring break holiday tidying our home using the "spark joy" method.   We only made it through the first big category (clothes), and it feels great. 

 sorting one category at a time - SHOES.  

I enjoyed taking time to sit with our kids and watch them sort their stuff, join the banter, and read out loud to them from my tidying book (which they enjoyed mocking, of course).  

By discarding items that don't spark joy and by folding clothes vertically, we discarded over 100 hangers and ended up with extra space in our drawers and closets.

Even little Joyce enjoys finding just the right way to fold something so it will stand up.

looking down into a drawer from above

New Plymouth Young Men - Labour Day Campout

The person taking the video is Maihi Brown, our new branch president.  The other adult is Harry Gaastra, our district president.  Boys: Oak, John, and Tubare.

Danny wasn't on the campout because he, Mike and I attended the posh Tiger Jacket dinner for all the boys at his school who have earned a Tiger Jacket.  

I sat next to a very interesting evangelical preacher. ("I have been blessed with the gift of wisdom from a young age...")

Here's a link to the video on YouTube in case the embedded video doesn't work out:
New Plymouth Young Men - Labour Day Campout

Election Thoughts

Living abroad as an American during this election has been frustrating. Trump acts like a thug, yet it's obvious that he has the support of millions of Americans. New Zealanders keep wanting me to explain how this could be, and I'm at a loss. I feel very sad at the way this election, and, in particular, Trump's candidacy, has shaped attitudes about what America values. 

I feel that the local outrage about Trump colors how I'm perceived as an American. Yesterday a gas station attendant asked about my accent. When I told him that I am an American, he asked, "Trump supporter?"
"No."
(shaking his head) "137 million Americans are supporting him, though. How is that possible?"
I've had ongoing variations of this conversation with New Zealanders for months.  The day before the gas attendant, it was a man with a baby in Bunnings, a hardware store.  The day before that, it was another mom as we picked up our daughters at dance class.  

The average New Zealander doesn't know any more about the philosophical differences between Republicans and Democrats than most Americans know about the difference between Britain's Labour and Conservative parties, so all they see is that Trump stands for personal indulgence, bigotry, and anger and that millions of Americans support him. These are not American values. American values are freedom, optimism, creativity and hard work.

Many conservative Americans are inflamed about Clinton, but outside the US, Clinton seems like a typical career politician - someone who's made compromises, but who is experienced and canny and dedicated to her party.   No one has ever asked me about Clinton at the checkout counter when they hear my American accent.  

Why do New Zealanders care?  I've asked this questions, and the answer always is, "America is the most powerful nation in the world.  Of course, what happens there affects us here in NZ."  New Zealanders hear about the election every day on the news, just like most Americans.  In New Zealand, most international news comes from international news sources (mostly from the US and the UK).   

A couple of weeks ago I attended the speech finals at my boys' high school, and 4 of the 12 students jabbed Trump in their speeches.  Oak might have, as well, if I hadn't advised him against getting some easy laughs at someone else's expense.  One of the boys' speeches was entirely dedicated to Trump and why he would be bad for the world.  

Meanwhile, other family events from the last few weeks:

Danny and I spent the weekend in Nelson.  Very fun-  Another Prokofiev performance, an English essay, some hiking, a street fair, the World of Wearable Art.  

We billeted for 3 nights with the symphony's clarinetist and her husband.

Instead of flying home with me, Danny flew to BB Nationals in Palmy.

I happily gave in to Sue's insistence that we dig up a winter's worth of weeds in front of our house and put in a veggie garden.

Before and after shots

some strawberries, too

 It's finally warm enough to start up the Sunday afternoon volleyball again.  We have only played once since Noah left for Bulgaria in February.  Lucky for us, Mercy has grown a heap taller AND completed an actual volleyball unit at school since Noah left, so we can still carry on a family game. She may be playing in Noah's spot on the court, but she still has a long way to go to match Noah's ability to talk smack or gloat after a big play...  

Mike's idea of a game for family home evening last week.  

Some of the best lesson ideas don't take any prep.

Oak took the photo

 

Homemade Therapy

Joyce took it upon herself to make a "loveing list," as she called it, on her whiteboard.  She collected her data by telling everyone in the family "I love you," and then recording the various responses. None of us knew that she was compiling this information until after her experiment was complete.

Here are the results, with a translation below:



I love you too! Mom
I Love you so so much J! Dad
Love you too Bebes!  Mercy
I Love you so so much too!  Sage
thanks Bebes!  Oak
I Love you too Bebes!  Danny
Love you too!  Joyce

I can only imagine what would happen if I followed her example and picked 7 significant people in my life, wrote them or told them how much I love them, and recorded their responses.

Mike and I have made our own 'Homemade Therapy' by sitting on comfy chairs in our den once a week or so and listening to an online course by Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife.  It's pretty fun!  Usually.



Two Excellent Books of the Week:





I also finished "A Fall of Marigolds" on audiobook in the car, and, although enjoyable, didn't feel that it was quite into the 5-star range, like the other books that I post.

View from the Oak Tree

It was about 8:30PM last Sunday evening.  Girls were in bed.  Mike, Danny, Oak, and I were sitting in our living room, each of us working on our own laptop.  It had been quiet for a while. Randomly, I asked Oak what he was doing, and he said something I was NOT expecting.   

"Writing a poem." 

NOT what I was expecting, but very cool!  

The Jones Fam

This is the Law of the family, as old and as true as our name

The house that keeps it will prosper, but the house that breaks it is lame

Like Mom driving us kids to school, the Law runneth to and fro

For our memories grow from us, and from our memories we too do grow

Memories of times in MAVY, Cape Reinga to renowned Milford Sound

The Mav sits us tightly together, keeps us close knit as we drive around

Our habits, hobbies, jokes and teasing, and Dad’s photos I have to admit

Keep us on edge but loving each other, although sometimes it takes some grit

Our travels from Turkey to Tonga, New Plymouth to good ol’ New York

Are like the meat of our Whanau, taste good and are filling like pork

There’s also the quiet evenings at home, playing Boggle or just sitting around

That are important to our unity, and are often the most profound

Our religion makes us peculiar, but a stronger family everyday

Where we learn the family’s eternal, how to act and what to say

The bad times we share are important, just as much as the good times are fun

For it’s then that we truly are tested, on our stickatitutti and devotion

For what really makes us family, isn’t our similar skin, brains and bones

But the experiences we share together, that’s what really make us The Jones

- Oak Jones

Here are some pictures from Oak's camera, taken in the last month or so....

Back Beach

The Foot

In order to take this sunrise picture last week, Oak climbed out of one of his bedroom windows onto the roof.  It was 6AM in a massive windstorm, and, unfortunately, a gust of wind slammed the window on its hinges and it blew off the house and landed on the ground.  

see the window on the ground 

How to Be More Excited about Life

"With the physiological arousal being the same for both states of mind, whether you feel anxiety or excitement about a future event is often up to you. Much of it is in the way that you appraise your physiological arousal. In other words, in the meaning you give to it."  -S. Gaskin, PhD
 http://www.coachingsgaskin.com/anxiety-or-excitement-its-up-to-you/.  or http://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/485297/turn-anxiety-into-excitement/

We've had several high-adrenaline events around here lately, both of which involved choosing to be excited rather than nervous.  These pictures look so smiley and relaxed - it might be hard to remember how tense I felt some of the time and how elated I felt when the performances actually went well.

Danny and Mercy and my student, Lenora, performed in a big concerto concert.

2nd row seats 

Mendelssohn D minor, 3rd mvmt.
Mercy opened the 2nd half of the program

Prokofiev 3rd, the final piece on the program

backstage

Danny earned a tiger jacket for his piano work.
His driver's license happened this week, too.

The next weekend, Mike gave an awesome TEDx talk in Tauranga.

Tauranga

It was a wonderful day for me - enjoying a full day of TEDx talks and food with Oak, Mercy and Danny.  I took real satisfaction from the fact that I'd signed Mike up for the TEDx talk vetting process as a Christmas gift.   Mike was the final speaker, so he had massive adrenaline going all day long! I'm not sure jumping out of an airplane would have been any more adrenaline-inducing.

genius MC

giant Jenga game during a break

the moment arrives

Thinking about the fact that nervousness and excitement both produce the same physiological response, and that it's a choice how to interpret those feelings, has led me to muse over the things in life that are commonly associated with nervousness and reframe them.  I thought over the things that I'm "nervous" about at the moment, and reframed each challenge as something I was excited about.  I felt like a more enthusiastic person just thinking about it!  I'm so excited to have another sex-talk with a kid.  I'm excited to make THIS big decision and have THAT critical conversation!  I'm excited about picking the right dates for a big vacation, for my kids to be old enough to make their own choices and mistakes, and I'm excited to stay fit as I get older!

As I coached Mercy in preparation for her performance to interpret the feelings in her body as part of the excitement she'd be feeling, I was amazed at how many well-wishers' comments undermined the message.  I should have counted how many times, in my presence, someone walked up to Mercy and asked her if she was nervous.

Please, people, next time ask if she's EXCITED!

Links to concerto videos:
Mercy's concerto
Danny's concerto

I'll post the link to Mike's TEDx talk when we get it.

How to Celebrate Your 3-Year Anniversary in New Zealand

Oak and Mercy made the cake

Our 3rd-annual celebration involved our traditional cake and singing the national anthems of USA and NZ.

This year our celebration happened at the same time as we signed up for a USA-based streaming service just so we could watch the Olympics!  So fun!

Even the commercials are fun when you've never had a TV connection in your home!

Lights turned on for Sage, who thought her friend, Lutia, was just making excuses about having to run home after school to see her favorite TV show.  (Sage:  "Now I GET IT... you CAN'T pause or go back!")

Lights turned on for Mercy as she realized that Studio C was spoofing a weather report in their end-of-the-world-weather skit.  When Mercy saw her first TV weather report, she said, "It looks just like Studio C!"

All the kids are learning important American vocabulary like "Jimmy Fallon" and "Chevrolet."