Freedom Camping

It seems like the world would be a better place if everyone could have such a glorious last week of summer...

Looking north from Kiritehere toward Marikopa

We took a road trip up our own coastline - freedom camping.

Kids in front of our tent, waiting for dinner to cook

Highlights...

Boogie boarding,

Sage learning

Eating raw kina from a Maori guy on the beach

Driftwood fires at night.

A beautiful waterfall - Marikopa Falls - with a rainbow that encircles you as you approach.

Oak and Mercy

Playing on the beach.

Mercy

Noah missed it all, as he was in Germany with friends having his own adventures.

Thank you, Familie Schmitt!

He came home to our new manu platform and a daytime job at the YMCA.  School starts next week for him.

We ended the week by going with Mike to a speaking assignment in the Manaia branch, and meeting a small group of happy, solid saints.

I know it looks like our life is a lark, and it mostly is, but writing this update definitely makes our life look more easy and glamorous than it really is.  I could let that stop me from writing, but I decide to continue.  Good times are interspersed and underlined with responsibilities for the upcoming school year, decisions to make, concerns about kids' schooling and physical and spiritual well-being, as well as the many sand fly bites on our ankles.  

Book of the Week:

Interesting, but didn't live up to Ann Patchett's recommendation on NPR, in my opinion.

How to Pop a Manu and The Great Divorce

Epic 5-day canoe trip down the Whanganui River 

Traveling companions: Sue and Jamie, their two boys (Cory and Calum), and a friend named Jack.

Whew! Sue and Jamie are fast paddlers

Traveling companions from our family were Mike, our 3 boys, and Mercy.

(Sage and Joy stayed home with Hannah.)  

just missing Oak

Mike sterned my canoe and proved especially good at getting us dumped in the rapids, on the first day in particular.

He learned quickly

Stopping to explore a cave - not the mud cave yet

We paddled 145 kilometers total, which is a lot of paddling, but somehow the boys and Mercy still seemed to spend half their time poppin' manu's...

or jumping off high places in one way or another.

There are 16 different definitions of "manu" in Wikipedia, but none of them is the definition used by teenage boys (and Mercy) in New Zealand.  

planning the manu

on the way to...

a mean splash

A good manu has a certain ker-BOOM sound and a very high splash.  Supposedly, one must break the water with one's heel, then quickly lay back quickly on the water to create a kind of vacuum.  

The manu is the gourmet version of the water bomb and takes practice.

After all that paddling, I came home feeling like this-

wish I looked like this, too

Oak said, "I feel like my shoulders grew two sizes this week!"

Book of the Week:  "The Great Divorce" by C.S. Lewis

Our neighbours told us that they almost got a divorce going over the first rapids on the Whanganui, but that doesn't have anything to do with this book.  It's about the divorce between heaven and hell, joy and misery.

My copy was published in 1946

Here's a picture of the newest edition, with its unfortunate cover art-

I re-read this book every year over Christmas holidays.  It's my all-time favorite book, hands down, despite the unfortunate cover.  

Christmas in NZ

Christmas in New Zealand feels a lot like the 4th of July.

"Christmas at the Bowl" - Christmas songs and fireworks

The other day I drove Danny home from a friend's house at 10PM.  It was a 15 minute drive through town - and I saw only TWO houses with Christmas lights.

Pohutukawa trees, the iconic Kiwi Christmas tree,.
The hydrangeas are also in full bloom.  

Besides the lack of Christmas lights, I also notice (and appreciate) the lack of Christmas advertising and billboards.

Elder Hammar came back for a visit!

To me, Christmas in NZ feels very simple, family-oriented, relaxing, and non-materialistic.

Even though it is summer, we still cut snowflakes and sang all the "snowy" Christmas carols at our annual sing-along.

Sugar cookies, thanks to Oak

 At the temple with some great gals - Sophia, Hannah, Jess and Tiffany.  Nigel drove with us from Taranaki.

Hannah (in gray) has her mission call to Auckland.
Tiffany (in blue) received her mission call to Ogden, UT.

Before my first NZ student recital

Book of the Week:

From page 269:

"Rather than concede idealization [of your partner] to the foolishly hormonal-or the psychologically immature, like Freud did - we might better regard it as 'a process of bringing alive features of the other that are hidden and masked in ordinary, everyday interaction.'"

Christmas Prank and Christmas Volleyball

Christmas afternoon 2014

Danny goes for a big splash

It's nice that it doesn't get dark until 9:30PM during the holidays, especially when you like to play volleyball in your backyard with your family.  We have been playing a lot lately, and enjoyed an extended, epic set of games on Christmas evening.  

Our kids have always felt frustrated that Mike and I don't wake up earlier on Christmas Day!  

22 alarms on 7 devices

 This year the boys set 22 alarms ring at random intervals between 7AM and 8AM in the master bedroom on Christmas morning.  Alarms hidden under our bed and around the room.  Phones and iPods set with multiple alarms, and even alarms that would power up the phone once it had been shut down.   Since Mike and I had been awake until 2AM the night before, we stumbled around in a muddled state trying to deal with one alarm after another, falling asleep in each little interval.  

By 7:30AM, there was no going back to sleep.  

Besides the obvious reasons, one reason that this prank was funny to me is that we require the boys to leave all their devices and phones on our bedroom dresser at night.  

Books of the Week:

Annual read-aloud for the entire family.  

Read-aloud for the girls.
I love the chapter about the babies, "John and Barbara's Story."

Last Week of School

We are enjoying the lack of Christmas stress here in New Zealand.  

Going to the beach   

Mercy and I filled in for Oak in the percussion section of the youth orchestra.  Exciting for us both-

 We played for two elementary schools in the area.

view from the percussion section

A special baptism in our branch on Saturday.

I'm not saying a played a special role - because I didn't - but I just enjoyed being here for it.

Danny and friends

For me, the most interesting part about having Danny's friends over this week was discussion about boys who call girls b****, in jest or otherwise, and Cameron's upcoming trip to Nepal.

Last Christmas...

Last Christmas

Last Christmas was the last year that our kids go littlest to biggest.  This year Danny and Noah are the exact same height.  Next year will it be all 3 boys?  

As we decide to stay here for enough years to get Oak through high school, we have taken a vote from all our kids about what they would prefer to do, if they got to choose.  They all voted to stay here, except Oak who said he'd be fine to stay here but would also love to move some other interesting place like Fiji, Madagascar or Singapore.

Book of the Week:

It's easy to see who is being taken advantage of, and who is taking advantage, but who lives and dies the happiest?

The Finger...and other favorite rules for raising preschoolers

Mercy enjoyed helping me prepare this update...

1. You may complain about anything - twice.   

Parents need to follow this rule, too.  

2. You Can't Say that Someone Can't Play

3. "Is there anything else I can do?"      

When you think the dishes are done, you don't step out of the kitchen  until you ask, "Is there anything else I can do?"  

Everyone knows the exact line where the kitchen ends and next room begins.

Funny how some of the most interesting conversations and the most elevated hilarity come during this protected family time.

4. Mom finishes

You can wait while Mom finishes eating what's on her plate or in her bowl.
No one else really knew about this rule - I made it for myself and use it often.

Link to a BYU magazine article
that changed my attitude

Another rule for myself:  Mom doesn't clean house when kids are asleep.

5. Read for 30-minutes 

30 minutes silent reading per day.  (Kids can just look at the pictures if they can't read yet.)

Joyce "reads" a book out loud during her reading time

6. No Food out of the Kitchen  

7.  Ask nicely twice, and then you may ask Mom for help.  

When you are having a problem with another kid....
Ask the other kid nicely for what you want - twice - and if the other kid still isn't listening, then you may ask Mom for help.

Danny and Mercy?

Asking for help starts with "Will you please....?" not "So-and-so did such-and-such...."

(This rule has worked great for many years, but may be nearing the end of its usefulness.  It has recently degenerated into "PDPD, M!" These letters stand for, "Please don't - Please don't.  MOM!!!!!")

8.   No Potty Jokes 

This rule is easily understood, and I've taught it to a number of neighborhood kids who have ridden in my car or visited my house.  Do other people just let their kids talk this way?!

9. The Finger

The Finger - the index finger - means, "I heard you, but wait your turn.  Someone else is already talking to me."  

I'm not sure what I would do without the Finger.  So many times I've felt stress and frustration mounting inside me, as multiple important people all talk to me at once, and then feel an actual wave of relief when I remember the Finger.  It's sounds funny, but it's true for me.  

Let Joycie finish

The Finger is especially useful when you have little kids and big kids in the same house.  Little kids leave long gaps between words, and big kids tend to crowd in.  

10. The "W" Sign 

The "W" stands for Whining.  When a (small) kid is whining, I turn away and flash the sign of the W.
No eye contact from me.  No words from me.

The "W" lets the child know why I'm not responding.

Mercy poses as the Mom,  flashing a "W" at the doll-child

Once a child can speak respectfully and control their tone of voice or their tantrum, I turn toward them and give full love and support.

11. Don't Contradict

I learned this from Laura Ingalls Wilder and "The Little House on the Prairie."

"Jack's afraid of something." Mary said.

"Jack's not afraid of anything, ever!"  Laura contradicted.

"Laura, Laura," Ma said, "It's not nice to contradict."  p. 218

From Martine's HandBook of Etiquette:  

Franklin says, that you must never contradict in conversation, nor correct facts if wrongly stated. This is going much too far; you must never contradict in a short, direct, or positive tone; but with politeness, you may easily, when necessary, express a difference of opinion in a graceful and even complimentary manner. And I would almost say, that the art of conversation consists in knowing how to contradict, and when to be silent... (p.16-7)

Disagreeing respectfully is an important skill, and I think young children can learn.   

12.  Certain words are off-limits until you grow up:
"hate," "kill," "stupid," "dumb," "shut up."  

No killing games.  

"Did you see a pretend army come by?" -Noah, age 4

13.  Don't tell Lies, such as "I can't do it" or "I'll never play with you again."  

Tell the Truth,  such as "I can't do it yet" or "I feel frustrated."   

  

14.  "When you are finished, may I have a turn?"

What I taught my kids to say to the kid who had the toy they wanted.

15.  Math game in the car.  

I am starting to see the end of some of these preschool rules in our house, as Joycie grows up.  It's been fun for Mercy and I to make this list!

Book of the week:

It's good that I'm not a member of the target audience for this book....